The Portuguese Diva

You guessed it, that would be me. Not that the Diva part wasn’t already there. It has just now been upgraded by 5 notches. Oh yes, those poor unsuspecting souls around me will now really have their hands full ☺

Being Portuguese has had it’s highlights but also downright frustrating moments. I would say up until the last few years, the frustrating moments have topped the highlights. However it is funny how things you take for granted have a way to come back and bite you in the ass. It was after my moving to Argentina that I really discovered my cultural roots and finally (yes I can see my grandmother rolling her eyes at me now) integrated them into who I am.

As a child I wanted nothing to do with anything Portuguese. It was beyond a hindrance in my life. I grew up in a very traditional Portuguese household with strict rules and traditions, therefore I was not allowed to do many things that most of my friends were allowed to do. I wanted to be like the others but I couldn’t quite make that fit. As a child trying to figure out who they are, being raised in two very distinct cultures (okay let’s be honest, cultures completely alien from one another) can create somewhat of an identity crisis. On top of having different social values, we ate differently, we spoke differently, we had different traditions, and the list goes on. So I grew up shunning a good part of my culture in the attempt to fit into the social culture around me. But then I moved to Argentina.

One of the results of taking off to live this charmed life that I have always been after is the re-connection with myself. And the discovery of aspects of myself that I didn’t even know existed. And so it was with the discovery of the Portuguese Diva.

One of the reasons that I fit in so well in the culture here is because it is exactly the same culture that I was brought up in. This time things were reversed though. The norm was that Portuguese culture that I had tried so hard to veer away from, and the “non-normal” culture, for lack of a better word, was the one I had tried so hard to fit myself into. Most expats when arriving here undergo a period of culture shock (hell some never get out of it) whereas I underwent nothing. I actually found myself defending the culture when surrounded by those who just didn’t understand it or complained about it. And so began my re-introduction into the rich and beautiful roots I had grown up in.

And then an interesting thing happened. I began cooking. First of all the cooking in and of itself carried me down a path of self discovery that there is now no turning back from. However, it is the Portuguese cooking that finally “brought me home”. There is something magical about food that creates special aha moments in your life and I have to say that it has definitely given me more than my share. And which food was it that changed my life? Fish of course. ☺ Fish is a major staple of Portuguese cuisine, and my parents come from the Acores islands, so it is pretty much in my blood.

I happened across some sea mackerel as I was roaming around the central market one day and after leaping around the isle in glee (much to the dismay of the fishmongers) I bought myself 2 and proudly carried them back home. For those of you who are not familiar with sea mackerel, or Cavalhas in Portuguese (or Caballas in Spanish) they are sort of like very large sardines. The flavour is fairly similar. Because it is an oily fish it is chock full of flavour, so what we often do is simply grill it. Add a bit of sea salt, a few fresh onion rings and some parsley and you have a dish fit for Neptune himself. Absolutely spectacular. So I cooked this meal and everyone was smitten. (Not with me, with the fish…okay maybe a little with me… ☺ ) Such a simple dish, yet so full of flavour. And this is the really the essence of Portuguese cooking. Food that is simple, unpretentious but full of flavour. Just like it’s people ☺

After this life changing gastronomic experience I began devouring books, internet articles and sites on everything that was Portuguese food. I began reading on the different regions, the customs, the people, the ingredients, you name it. I watched movies, programs, anything and everything that had Portugal and Portuguese food in it. And little by little, like the size of the Grinch’s heart when he discovered Christmas, my Portuguese pride grew and blossomed. I realized that this was a fundamental part of who I am, I was raised Portuguese, and although yes, I functioned in a Canadian culture, my essence and foundation, my blood is 100% Portuguese. I am a unique mix I would say, but the latin part is what prevails overall. ☺

So in celebration of this new found reconnection with myself, I will be writing parts on the blog dealing with Portuguese cuisine and the country itself: The Portugese Diva Chronicles, and share with everyone the beauty, culture and experiences of Portugal.

(Note: photos above are of the island of Sao Miguel, in the Azores where my parents are from)

A Closing

"We have to dare to be ourselves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be."
May Sarton


As I sit and write this I am sitting in a train amongst snow covered fields and trees and just beginning to thaw out from the day out in the crisp winter Canadian air. Yes, I am back visiting my stomping ground. And as with each visit, it has been yet again an interesting experience. (However by the time I post this I will be back in sunny Argentina) :)

This time I came up to visit for a month, right smack at the beginning of the coldest time of year. I am thinking that my brain may have been slightly fried at the time of this particular decision. I was originally missing the snow at Chrismtastime, and had visions of jolly snowmen, christmas lights shining brightly against the crisp white snow, sleigh bells ringing,… you know the regular stuff that holiday carols are made of. There was something just very wrong about Santa in a bathing suit, and let's not get started on that visual… I however forgot one thing: IT"S COLD. I am without a doubt, latin blooded through and through I used to sing the praises of the wintertime, enjoy frolicking in the snow like a baby seal, and just revel in the beauty that the winter would bring to the land. At this particular moment I am thinking I must have been insane. Just the thought of anything under minus 10 C sends me fleeing back under the covers in the morning for just 5 more minutes of cosy warmth. Yes, it has really happened, the Canuk has been beaten out of me. Yet despite all of this I know that I will most likely come up with this deranged visit again because of my love of Christmas festivities in a winter wonderland. :)

All of my complaining of the cold aside though, it has been a very transformative experience, and I believe that there is a particular significance that I ended up spending the beginning of a new decade here. My last three years in Argentina have been an amazing journey of self discovery and I feel blessed that I was able to embark on it. The result? A new aspect of myself has blossomed and I have come into my own. To quote a popular mantra, " I am". This isn't to say that I am finished, not even close. But now as I continue moving forward with my life I am more confident than before that I am making decisions based on what is best for me.

We closed a decade this past New Year's, and for me personally it has been an important one. I began the decade in a very different life, living it through the eyes of a young woman who was just at the brink of her journey of self discovery and living life based on other people's dreams and expectations. As I walked through my hometown of Kingston and my long time home base of Ottawa, whispers of this young woman echoed softly as I passed old haunts, memories flooding me like gentle waves on a lakeshore. A favourite cafe here, an old workplace there, even my favourite willow tree along the Ottawa River that on so many an evening I would climb up into and sit perched watching the sun set along the water. Memories of the daily joys at discovering some hidden aspect of myself that I never knew existed either through new found pastimes, conversations with close friends, or just time spent alone in contemplation. And then the angst. The angst that comes with these revelations, as I slowly began to discover that decisions I had made were not necessarily a reflection of who I was. So then comes the change. The changes necessary to have my outer life coincide with the inner. Step by step I made the changes I felt were important to create a life that was about me.

One important lesson that I have learned throughout this process is that no one can tell you what is the right or wrong path. Many people will always have an idea of what you should do, whether it be a mentor, guide, friend, co-worker, acquaintance or family member. Yet at the end of the day they are not you. No matter where they are pulling their information from, they are not you. They are giving you advice or information shaded by their own perspectives and experiences. Even a psychic is not fully detached from this. You are the only person who has full access to what is your life. You are the only one who fully understands the journey that is specially yours on this planet. You are the only one who each and every day is there with yourself going through each lesson, joy, sorrow, passion or what have you and moving forward from each experience. No one else has that insight into who you are and how these experiences are shaping your perspective on life. Places, people and things come into your life for a reason. They are there to provide you with learning. And what you glean from that is how you begin to shape yourself, and thus influence your decisions. I have learned that there is no right or wrong answer, no right or wrong path. Each and every one is just another experience and the more you are aware of who you are the easier it is to choose the best one for you at that particular point in time. As a friend of mine recently quoted in one of her own posts, "all roads lead to Rome."

At the closing of this decade, as I walked through the familiar yet unfamiliar streets, I both unconsciously and consciously closed a very important chapter in my life. I felt myself going through an internal battle and questioning everything in my life. It was an interesting process, as I was thrown into an old environment that brought with it old patterns and old fears. The ghost of a person I used to be facing the new one, swords drawn waiting to see which one would triumph. And it was a good experience. My new self one out. I have no regrets. I now have a new crossroad headed towards me and I am ready to meet it, confident in who I am and what i want and don't want.

There is a poem that a dear friend gave me at the very beginning of my self discovery journey that I have kept with me and sought out many a time when I felt lost and not sure what direction to take. In fact, I would say that it was this poem that sparked the whole journey in the first place. I will close this post with it, and I hope that it will provide a source of inspiration for some of you as it did for me:

The Man in the Glass


WHEN YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR STRUGGLE FOR SELF

AND THE WORLD MAKES YOU KING FOR A DAY

JUST GO TO A MIRROR AND LOOK AT YOURSELF

TO SEE WHAT THAT MAN HAS TO SAY


FOR IT ISN’T YOUR FATHER OR MOTHER OR WIFE

WHOSE JUDGEMENT UPON YOU MUST PASS

THE FELLOW WHOSE VERDICT COUNTS MOST IN YOUR LIFE

IS THE ONE STARING BACK FROM THE GLASS


HE’S THE ONE YOU MUST PLEASE- NEVER MIND ALL THE REST

CAUSE HE’S WITH YOU CLEAR UP TO THE END

AND YOU’VE PASSED YOUR MOST DIFFICULT, DANGEROUS TEST

IF THE MAN IN THE GLASS IS YOUR FRIEND


YOU CAN FOOL THE WHOLE WORLD DOWN THE PATHWAY OF YEARS

AND GET PATS ON THE BACK AS YOU PASS

BUT YOUR FINAL REWARD WILL BE HEARTACHES AND TEARS

IF YOU’VE CHEATED THE MAN IN THE GLASS.

Passion

Passion. One of the most sought after emotions in the world. How many of us have gone in search of this elusive feeling, risked the world to follow this panned piper into the unknown? And was it worth it?
I believe that passion is one of the most beautiful emotions or feelings we can experience. It can push you to completely new levels and extremes, instill a sense of beauty and purpose, and on a more profound level change your whole view on life. Although we may not always feel it around us or feel it is evading us, it is always there beckoning and calling, a faint whisper or a seductive melody that makes us stop, even if just for a second, to hear its message.
I will be completely frank and admit that for most of my life I rarely experienced this blissful feeling. Not that I was completely devoid of it, it just didn’t seem to happen a whole lot. This can be attributed to a number of different factors that I am sure would involve at least 3 psychologists analyzing me inside out and backwards. I will spare you those details however and suffice it to say that it was somewhat lacking in the little world I had created for myself.
So, you can imagine the shock at arriving in Argentina. All of a sudden I was launched into a new world, where people live passionately and express this in all they do. There is no ho hum here, life is lived to the fullest. It was such a beautiful way of being and I became enamoured.
And of course who are some of the most passionate people I know? You got it, winemakers. Recently I visited a family run winery, Domaine San Diego. To me this place is like a little bit of paradise on earth, with passion as a building block and fundamental philosophy, the wines are nothing short of blissful. Nestled in Lulunta, this vineyard emanates personality. One of the few terraced vineyards in Mendoza, it runs along what used to be banks of the Mendoza River in the middle of wine country here in Mendoza. It is a small, simple yet exquisite.

With rolling vistas and terraced vines, chickens wandering through the grapevines and ancient olive trees dotting the landscape, it felt like I had walked into a little piece of paradise. The oenologist is Angel Mendoza, one of the top in the country. Yet at the same time, one of the most unassuming. Angel’s philosophy is simple, love of the vines and of the earth is where the wine is born. Angel used to work for one of the larger wineries here in Mendoza but then bought his own land, leaving his job and branching out on his own. Here at Domaine San Diego everything is in balance. You can feel it as you walk along the gravel pathways, there is a peace and tranquility that settles itself around you. Within the winery itself, a very small team works together to create exquisite wines. The winemaking process is done entirely by just the family, they all band together and spend countless hours in the winery to ensure that they are making something worthwhile of their name. The wine is treated like the living being that it is, with honour, respect and great care. A far cry from the industrialized, soulless wines, created without the touch of a human hand. Not many places like this exist nowadays, particularly with the constant move to using machines for every part of the winemaking process. When being in a place like this one sees the difference that love and passion have not only on the land but in the finished product. There is no greed here to produce more and make more money to fill the bank accounts. Everything here is done for the pure love of the grapes and the wine, creating an environment where the grapes express themselves to their highest potential. Just like nurturing a child.. now if only we could all do that in our daily lives… :)

Choice - The Shaping of Our Destiny

“We are both burdened and blessed by the great responsibility of free will- the power of choice. Our future is determined, in large part, by the choices we make now. We cannot always control our circumstances, but we can and do choose our response to whatever arises. Reclaiming the power of choice, we find the courage to live fully in the world.” Dan Millman “The Laws of Spirit”


The concept of choice is interesting as I don’t believe that we really pay much attention to it as humans. It is almost a frightening concept and most of the time we try to run like bats out of hell in the opposite direction of it. However, the consequences of running away from it will always come back to bite us in the tushy. :)

Choice, in my opinion, is a fundamental building block to the story of our lives. Every minute of how our life unfolds is based on a choice that we have made. Right down to the basics of what we eat, each decision either enhances or stagnates us on this path called life that we are on.

This year has been an interesting one for me. Not that any of my years are not interesting… I have seen many friends make some very important life changing decisions this year, thus setting them on paths that they had not previously fathomed. And consequently making them happier than they have ever been before.

So how does this sudden turn in paths affect us on a grander scale? Does it change our destiny? This is a question that I think many people ponder on some level or another, and also a question I often get asked. So what is my take? My personal opinion is that we are each born with a specific overall purpose. However, how we decide to achieve this purpose is up to us. Can this purpose change? Absolutely, why not? I also think that if someone grows and evolves while here on this planet then why would not their purpose grow with them? So in the end I believe we are all the creators of our own destiny, and each decision we make shapes that destiny.

One of my own important decisions had a very important effect on the shaping of my future. I distinctly remember one evening, back in Ottawa, sitting by the river, beginning to doubt my decision in moving out of country to Argentina. It was a heavy decision to make. I had come to a cross roads in my life and before me were a number of different paths. I was fairly certain that in the end each path would lead me to where I needed to go, but how I got there was the decision facing me now. I could just as easily have decided to stay where I was and continued to grow in different ways and through different experiences. I could also have moved to another city within North America. Or just move plain across the globe and experience a whole new world. Either way I was going to learn and evolve, the question was which way did I want to do it? Obviously in the end I chose the latter, the hardest path of them all. Why was it the hardest? I was very well aware that in choosing Argentina I was deciding to leave behind a lifestyle, friends, family, a job, and part of myself. I was leaving the whole life that I had worked so hard to create to start anew, in a foreign country, where I knew no one, and had no concept of what I would even do when I got there.

And the consequences of this? I had completely and consciously reshaped my whole future. I had chosen a completely new path, thus closing off all the other potential paths that could have stemmed from me staying. That isn’t to say that I didn’t have the option of going back if I wanted to. But the thing is, even if I did go back, I would not be the same woman as the one who was leaving now. Therefore, that would also change the availability of those other paths at that future point in time. So to me it was pretty much a done deal, there was no going back to the same life and picking up from where I left it. It no longer existed. I had made the decision that would propel me down a new life, new people and new experiences. And I have never looked back. 

I use this example because I believe it highlights choice well, maybe in the extreme, but highlights its importance nevertheless. But it isn’t just the major life decisions that change our paths, but also the daily choices we make each day. Something as simple as our choice in who we associate with, or what we decide to do with our free time are choices that have a huge influence on the type of person we become, and what we end up attracting into our life. This then has a domino effect and can start to either gently guide you down other paths you hadn’t thought of before or provide you with an environment that allows you to blossom and grow. The opposite however can also take place. These things can also have the effect of stagnating us and closing off paths.

So how to choose what is right? I am of the philosophy that as long as you make a decision based on what is best for you at that particular moment in time, and it resonates with your gut, then you are on the right track. That is how I personally live my life. What is it that my intuition is telling me? And most importantly, what is it that will make me happy? And then all the pieces in the puzzle seem to fall into place. The life that we thought was so unattainable suddenly is not that far off after all.

I think we often get into the habit of putting the responsibility of our happiness and what happens to us on others. However it really all lies with each one of us. Our choices in attitude, environment, people, jobs, career, past times, you name it. They all affect our path in life and the person that we become. And once we realize that, we are liberated from a perceived dependency on others and are the captains of our own ship once again. We are capable of creating any life we want, we just need to start making the decision to make that life happen.

Like the Fool in the tarot deck, who made the decision to begin his journey and then walked off the precipice, having full faith he would fly. And trust me, you will fly…

Return to Simplicity – Closing the Circle

“Simplicity is the final achievement. After one has played a vast quantity of notes and more notes, it is simplicity that emerges as the crowning reward of art.” Frederic Chopin

It has taken me almost 4 months to write this post. Who knew that a write up on simplicity could be so complicated? Oh the irony :)
Over the years I have repeatedly changed my concept of simplicity. I suppose this is a natural occurrence as people usually change as the years go on. But recently I have been pondering on it a lot more because it has become such an important aspect of my life.

So what is simplicity? The dictionary has many definitions for it, but I think that it means something different to each person. For me it is about un-complicating my life. I don’t like being bogged down, this inevitably leads to a surge of unhappiness and a very cranky Chrissie.

I used to think that if I had a lot of “things” and people in my life that I would be happy. So I went in pursuit of “stuff”: the big house, the white picket fence, the great job, the perfect relationship, the right circle of friends. And eventually I found myself in a cycle that most people find themselves in, the pursuit of more. But every time I would gain something in this race I didn’t find that happiness I was looking for. There was of course some instant gratification, but the happiness that I really wanted still seemed to elude me. I felt as if there was always something missing. All of these things that were supposed to be bringing me so much joy were in fact wearing me out. In order to be able to maintain the house, the car, the “stuff”, I was working in the rat race. My life revolved around supporting these things rather than supporting myself. My work was focussed on paying the bills rather than on fulfilling my own creative and inspirational needs, my time was spent on gratifying others rather than myself, overall my activities were focussed on external things rather than my own internal world. Then finally one day, something changed.

I found myself cleaning out old boxes and came across one that had a pile of papers in it. As I rummaged through them I realized that they were all of my old stories that I used to write as a child. I stared at them dumbstruck, I had thought they had been lost years before. I might as well have been a leprechaun that finally found his pot of gold at the end of the rainbow for all the excitement that I felt at the discovery of this new found treasure. (Although I have my own personal belief about that whole tale about pots of gold and leprechauns but that is for another day…) So I sat down and read every single one. As a child I was very creative. I loved writing, it had always been my best form of expression. And as I read line by line I was reacquainting myself with that creative and happy little girl and wondering what had happened to her. As I sat there and read each page, the innocence, wonder and curiosity about the world jumped out. Somehow I had lost that, the simple way of being and doing things that made the days so full and exciting. Why couldn’t we continue living like that? How had my life become so congested that I lost all touch with my real self and life in general? The lack of limits, and rules and living just as you wanted to started to beckon from the shadows. The freedom to choose each morning what I wanted to do circled around me like call of a siren on the rocky shores of the sea. I suddenly had a flash of my life in the next 50 years living it the way I currently was, and I felt as if someone had slipped a noose around my neck, the weight of it heavy and ready to pull at any moment. I had had enough. And so began my personal revolution.

At this point in my life I started making many changes, and although there were many important steps involved in this process, one of the most important ones was the art of simplification. And it is this one that I am focusing on for this post. Life should not be complicated. I set out to regain the beauty and liveliness that I found so enthralling as a child.

My life was too full of things that had nothing to do with who I was. Not as the person that I currently was or the person I wanted to be. In looking at my daily activities and out of all the hours of the day, only a select few were spent on activities that held any real meaning for me. So I started to do a massive “house cleaning”. I cleared out all activities that either completely drained me or didn’t inspire me. I spent my social hours with people that held real meaning in my life. And slowly I found myself living a more simple life. My weekends involved sitting at a café people watching, reading or writing. Fully savouring a good cup of Italian coffee. Or sometimes I would spend hours sitting in my favourite willow tree by the river meditating, watching the wildlife or just contemplating life in general. I began enjoying dinners with close friends with good food, good conversation and good wine. Okay, sometimes a little bit too much good wine… (I will forever apologize to Michael, and to the ladies I will never forget that HFThursday…).

After a few years and whole lot of personal growth work, I found myself with the need to simplify my life once again. At this point my inner world had expanded and my outer world no longer matched it. This time the topic was “stuff”. I have always been attached to things. Ever since I can remember. They always gave me a sort of security and warm cosy feeling. Who could resist buying another comfy throw for the couch or another set of plates that were just too funky to leave on the shelf and would look much better laid out on my dining room table? And then of course there are my books: one of the greatest loves of my life and my Achilles heel. Someone who gifts me books is forever loved by me. What better way to spend a cold winter afternoon then with a good book, a cup of tea and a warm cosy throw as you are curled up on the couch? So yes, one could say I was bit obsessive about my “things”. However this was beginning to change. I began to notice more and more what a consumer oriented society we live in. We are constantly bombarded by propaganda that convinces us we need more, we need bigger, we need better. I was standing in IKEA ( not a good place to begin with) and watched as people were scrambling to buy what they could just because it was on sale. There were actually women fighting over the last candlestick holder. Good God. I was surrounded by cranky people, spending money they technically didn’t have, for things that they most likely really didn’t need. I arrived home exhausted. I made myself a hot cup of tea and prepared a hot bath. (I spent a lot of time in the bathtub in those days…). This was my thinking spot or “personal office”. Still is really  As I soaked I thought about what I had felt that day. We spend a lot of money on things we don’t necessarily need. Why? Some people would say that it is to compensate for other things lacking in our life. Could be. We are also conditioned to believe we need them. So, here we are buying a bunch of stuff. Where do we find the money to do this? Unsatisfying jobs. And I was no different. My job was not what I would call all that thrilling, nor did it challenge me the way a job should. I am creative, and without a creative outlet I wither. I know this, but yet I felt that for some reason I could not integrate that creativity with what I did for a living. But that begs the question, why not? Because I had to pay the bills. Bills for what? Other than a roof over my head and food, many things that really were not necessary. So as much as I hated to admit it, like many others in the world I found myself in the same rat race cycle, living part of my life like a robot. And this made me incredibly sad. I went back to that little girl I had encountered that day when I found the box of stories, and thought, this was never supposed to be part of her world. So I began to purge. I began thinking twice about anything I bought, regardless of whether it was a fantastic sale. I went through all of my things and packed garbage bags full of things I hadn’t used in over a year. Closet after closet, item after item. It was liberating. Little did I know what this purging would start in my life.

Any action you take starts a process. And this one was no different. A year later I found myself face to face with the big Kahuna purge. The purge of all purges. It was time to let go of everything. I thought about how far I had come. My first simplification process came after the divorce. The house, the car, the property: I let go of. I walked away with household appliances and nothing else. That in and of itself was a big step for me. Then as I moved through my discovery of self phase I let go of the little things bit by bit. Now here I was almost 4 years later and I was about to move out of country and sell all of my worldly belongings. I was seriously beginning to question my sanity…

It was a beautiful sunny day, and the driveway was packed with all of my things. Yes, a garage sale. The best way to part with your “stuff”. I watched as people rummaged through my belongings, things that at one time defined a part of me. I sat there and watched as people walked away with my things. And to be honest it wasn’t as hard as I thought. They were going to new homes, to people who would use them. I was pretty damn impressed with myself actually. I walked over to grab my coffee (much needed at this god forsaken hour of the morning) thinking that I had obsessed too much for no reason and then stopped. My books. Someone was just about to buy a stack of them. Now, I can let go of a lot of things, but my books are special, at least to me. There is a whole new world to discover once you open the cover. New things to learn, new people to meet, new places to see. Books expand your horizons and help you to grow. One could say that I have an ongoing love affair with books, and I will admit I agree. So to see them leave was akin to severing one of my limbs. It was all I could do from leaping across the lawn and tackling the woman who had just bought stolen my dearest treasures. But luckily for that unknowing woman, I resisted. (I can be pretty dangerous when provoked…) :) I realized in that split second that I needed to let them go. They were of no use to me anymore, it was time to redefine myself and write my own story rather than immersing myself in someone else’s. So I watched on, with a bit of heartache and fear, but also excitement as she drove off. A new me had just been born.

I have to say that was one of the most important lessons of my life and also a discovery of the real person I am. When I look back I have always been happier with less. I don’t like being bogged down and “things” have a tendency to do that to you. So now I own nothing that I cannot part with in the end. I am freer and lighter and focus more on experiencing life rather than trying to buy it. Interestingly enough we used to live this way as a society before the industrial revolution hit. Life was not so complicated back then. People had time to smell a flower as they walked by, or sit on the front porch with loved ones. They didn’t need 3 cars or the latest fashion trends to be happy. It makes you wonder just where the term “progress” really fits in, no? We may have technologically progressed but emotionally and socially we became a bit stunted. I think however that as we move forward as a society there is a big shift taking place. We are closing the circle back to where we once were. Just as I closed my own personal circle and moved back to a world that I used to live in as a child, the world is now closing the circle back to where it originally started and thrived: a world based on human interaction. It should be an interesting ride… :)

Sensuality: A Forgotten Art

Another archive of mine from last year that I wanted to share with everyone....
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“To be sensual, I think, is to respect and rejoice in the force of life, of life itself, and to be present in all that one does, from the effort of loving to the making of bread.” James Arthur Baldwin


I have always believed that we are first and foremost beautiful spiritual beings who have chosen to be on earth as humans at this particular time and experience a human life. And when looking at it from this perspective, the human experience becomes something very special, something magical. Human life is a gift, especially at this moment in the planet’s history. Thousands upon thousands of souls were lined up waiting to be selected to incarnate on the earth during this time. And for those of us who were chosen, here we are. We have been given the chance to live on and experience one of the most vibrant and beautiful planets in our galaxy system.

As spiritual beings we are basically made up of vibrating energy. Like one large ball of light. Yet as beings of light our experiences are limited to those of a non-physical nature. Now put that ball of light into a physical vessel and another dimension has been added to mix. As light, we cannot experience many of the things this planet has to offer from a physical perspective. We could not feel the softness of silk, or smell the beautiful aromas from a field of lavender. We would not be able to experience the beauty of a kiss, or taste the velvety flavours of a rich wine. All of these things are the gifts we have of being in a physical body. Our biological body allows us to experience the beauty and wonder of the physical world to its fullest.

Yet how often do we really take note of these things in our life? How often do we take the time to smell the fragrance of a flower as we walk by it, really allow the aroma to fully permeate our senses? How often do we take the time to fully taste a divine piece of chocolate, let the flavours sit in our mouth and flow through us, elevate us?

Sensuality to me is the awareness of our physical senses, and being fully present within them, in the moment…in the now. The shutting off of our mental state and the ability to experience beauty through our body. So why are so many of us not experiencing this bliss? Why have we become so out of touch with this sensual side that we all possess yet are so unfamiliar with?

Many of us live fast paced lives, living by a schedule that barely gives us 5 minutes to ourselves never mind the time to stop and smell a flower. We have created a routine for ourselves where we many of us are now moving through life like robots, and out of touch with many of the very human aspects we possess. We have forgotten to enjoy the physical senses that we have been gifted with in this life.

On the other end of the spectrum we may be spending too much time in the spiritual realms, forgetting that we are here to experience being human. Our preoccupation with experiencing a spiritual state, focussing on ridding ourselves of human attributes and emotions to reach an more elevated state. My personal belief is that we are here to create a balance between both. When we find ourselves on either end of the scales it is time to re-evaluate how we managed to get ourselves there. Spending too much time on either end can result in us being cut off from very important aspects that are crucial to our learning on this plane. Either in the physical where we risk shutting ourselves off from our divine and higher selves, or in the spiritual where we risk shutting ourselves off from the beauty of the physical world. Balance, as with anything in life, is the key.


Personally, opening up to my sensual side has allowed me to connect with myself and my surroundings on a deeper level. It has brought a new sense of wonder, curiosity and beauty to my life. Now granted, I am naturally a very sensate being. Nevertheless I used to be very out of touch with the physical senses as I was growing up. The concept of sensuality was considered taboo in my environment, both in my family and in society in general. Therefore I never really tapped into the gifts that it was trying to reveal to me. However once making the decision to change my lifestyle and slow down the pace, I started discovering the beautiful experiences that had been patiently waiting for me and started seeing a world that I had allowed to remain hidden.

My world is now filled with sensate experiences everywhere I go, the fragrance of a flower that I stop to smell as I walk through the park, the aromas floating from the kitchen as I experiment with some new creation, the feeling of fresh sheets on my skin as I climb into bed, the feeling of the rain beating down on my body as I stand outside in a thunderstorm, the feeling of my soul being elevated as I listen to the melodies of an orchestra, and the list goes on… I have gone from constantly focussing on the past or the future, and learned to really live in the moment. I have moved myself into the NOW. And what a beautiful place it is.

How to Begin Incorporating Sensuality into your life

It is actually fairly easy to begin incorporating sensuality into your life. The most important thing is really to start becoming more aware. More aware of your surroundings, aromas and fragrances, colours, textures etc. Take notice of how things make you feel, which senses do you notice first, which ones do not feel as quickly? Once you begin to increase your awareness you will find that your perspective will start changing and the world that you once took for granted will all of as sudden appear new and exciting to you again.

Here are some ways that have personally helped me to incorporate sensuality again into my life that you can try:

1. Swim naked: One of the most beautiful sensations in the world is the feeling of water skimming across your skin as you move through the water. There is a liberation and sensuality tied into one that takes place as you glide through the water naked. And add moonlight to the mix and that heightens the experience. Try and pay attention to the feeling of the water on your skin, the temperature of the water, and the sounds of the water as you move slowly through it. I highly recommend at least trying it to see what it is like.

2. Wine Tasting: Since arriving in Argentina I have been introduced to the fascinating world of wine tasting and have to say that it is one of the most sensate experiences on the planet. Wine tasting makes you use your sense of taste, smell and sight in ways that you are not accustomed to. Rather than gulping down the wine like we often do, take some time to observe the beautiful hues that appear as you hold up your wine to the light, the bouquet of aromas that are released as you swirl the wine in your glass, and the weight and texture of the wine as you allow it to sit on your tongue, then the explosion of flavours on your taste buds as you slowly allow the wine to move through your mouth and throat. Wine is art and once you open yourself up to it can turn into a divine experience. To learn more about how to do a basic wine tasting you can visit :

http://www.itswine.com/articles/wine-tasting/index.php
http://www.wineloverspage.com/taste/
http://wine.about.com/od/winebasic1/ht/winetasting.htm

Or for a twist on tasting, you can also learn how to do chocolate tasting, another fantastic way to begin opening up your senses:

http://www.thenibble.com/reviews/main/chocolate/how-to-taste-chocolate.asp

3. Dance in the Rain: There is something to be said about dancing out in the rain on a hot summer night. Feeling the rain beating down on you, the smell of fresh water, the sound of the drops beating down on the ground around you. Next time you find yourself in a storm hop outside and try it. Close off your mental side and don’t worry about whether you think you will look silly or not and set yourself free in the moment.

4. Walking through the forest: The forest is full of aromas, textures, and colours that, when you allow them to, can heighten your senses. Take some time to walk slowly through the woods one day, smell the aromas in the air, the pine, the earth, the rocks, the moss. Feel the trunks of the trees, the dew on the plants, the texture of the leaves. Take note of the colours around you, then close your eyes, how do you feel, what senses respond first, which ones feel more closed? (Taking a walk in a garden is also another option.)


5. Food with Passion: Cooking is one of those things in life that we often take for granted and is turned into a chore when it is incorporated into our daily routine. We then begin to loathe it. We often rush through the process of cooking, speed taking precedence above all else. However, cooking can also take you to sensual heights that you have never dreamed of. Take some time to smell the aromas of each ingredient you add, notice the texture of the spices and herbs you use, notice how the aromas then blend together in the dish to create something spectacular. While eating, allow yourself time to really savour the food rather than swallowing it down at unprecedented speed. Notice the texture of the food on your tongue, the colours on the plate. Are they vibrant? Are they soft hues? How does the food make you feel? How do the flavours and aromas make you feel? Once you start incorporating this into your life, at least once a week, you will start noticing changes and your perceptions heightening. What a beautiful way to live. :) For more reading on this you can check out : www.slowfood.com

6. Sleeping naked: Yes, naked. Leave the pj’s in the drawer. :) Sleeping naked allows you to heighten your sense of touch. Indulge a little bit and buy yourself some nice high thread count sheets (or whatever type of sheets you are partial to) and some soft pillows. Feel the texture of the sheets on your skin, how luxurious the pillows feel under your head. The sense of touch is highly important and something we don’t use often enough anymore. Once you start to open yourself up to textures and sensations on your skin you will find a whole new world awaiting you that you didn’t even know existed. And you may find yourself sleeping naked all of the time. :)

7. Relaxation massage: Massage is probably one of the easiest ways to begin opening to your senses because many people love it and the results are instantaneous. Personally having a regular massage was one of the first stepping stones for me in opening up to new levels and one of the most rewarding.

I believe that the blending of the spiritual and the physical are a key to fully experiencing our soul growth here. Over the generations society has often taught us that the two are opposed to each other, when in fact they are complements, and when in harmony with each other, we are lifted to a new dimension of living that is full of joy and peace. The physical world (as well as our own physical selves) has many gifts to offer us. Once you open yourself up and learn to harmonize the two, you will find your own world increase in beauty and light, and a sense of gratitude permeate your soul. So go walk barefoot in the grass, or stop to actually smell that flower that you pass by everyday, and watch your world begin to change into the enchanted place that it truly is.

La Nueva Comunidad

“Una vida social sana es solamente encontrada cuando, en el espejo de cada alma, la comunidad encuentra su reflejo, y cuando a dentro de la comunidad entera el virtud de cada uno esta vivo.” Rudolph Steiner

Siempro lo encuentro fascinante como la vida cambia cosas de uno mismo que piensas que ya son parte de quien sos. Yo me considero una persona mas o menos solitaria, me gusta de pasar tiempo con yo mismo, y no tengo uno problema a vivir sola. Cuando estaba viviendo en Canada, siempre buscaba mi propio espacio, y a estar sola e independiente era lo mas importante fuera de todo. Es fue que me mantuvo sana. Me parece, sin embargo, que los tiempos ya cambiaron.

Recien me mudé a un departamiento que estaba cerca de la bodega donde estoy trabajando. Fue en lugar lindo, un loft, y podía caminar al trabajo de allá. Podía salir a fuera y ver las montañas en la distancia. Por fin tenia mi lugar, estaba independiente otra vez, y libre para ir y salir cuando quería. Y de repente lo mas raro pasó. Un sentido muy desconocido para mi empezó a ser presente. Yo extrañaba a tener gente alrededor de mi. Estaba extrañando a tener gente con quien podía compartir comida y vino, charlar, o hablar en general de la vida.

Extrañaba a poder a salir a la esquina para comprar una barra de mi chocolate favorito, o a ir a mi favorito café para tomar un café con leche.

El pánico empezó a establecerse. Que pasaba conmigo? Siempre fui orgullosa de poder a pasar tiempo sola, y disfrutarlo. Pero ahora, de repente, estaba ansiando compania. Mi querido independencia estaba desaparaciendo…. Eso no puede ser bueno.

Despues que los palpitaciones pararon, me senté y reflexioné sobre el metamorfisis raro que estaba pasando a mi. Realicé después de un rato que tenia que pensar con otro punto de vista. No había nada que haber con perdiendo un parte de yo misma, pero todo que haber con el descubrimiento de una nueva parte de yo misma y integrandolo con el viejo.

Desde de llegar a Argentina, una de las temas mas comunes en mi vida ha sido la comunidad. Como niña, el sentido de comunidad siempre me impactó muchísimo. Cuando la familia se juntaban o fiestas en la comunidad Portuguesa siempre fueron platos fuertes durante de mi infancia. Cuando entré en la edad adulta, tuvé un cambio de perspectiva de uno de la comunidad a uno de la individualidad y independencia. Me quedé en esto estado de aprendizaje por muchos años, los mas importantes fueron los ultimos 5 antes de mudarme a Argentina.

Durante de esto tiempo pasé mucho tiempo sola, descubriendo quien era como una persona, que eran mis talentos, de ser comoda en mi propia piel, y en general quedandome enamorada con yo misma. Me encantó la soledad. Aprendí mas en estos 5 años que había aprendido en mi vida entera. Y cuando, por fin me sentí fuerte en mi poder personal, mi vida cambió otra vez.

Cuando llegué a Argentina, desde del primero día, estuvé siempre con gente. En el principio estaba un poco preocupada con esto porque estaba tan acostumbrada a pasar tiempo sola, que tenía miedo de empezar a volverme loca con tanta gente alrededor de mi. Pero saben que? Me encantó. De vez en cuando sacé tiempo sola, pero en general me encantó de estar viviendo con otros.

Uno de las cosas mas lindas de los Argentinos es su amor de compartir y pasar tiempo juntos con otros. Saben disfrutar de la vida y compartir lo que tienen con otros. Siempre se juntan con amigos y familia para compartir comida, vino, y el tiempo en maneras lindas. Puede ser durante un asado, o tamando un maté o alago simple como a salir para tomar un café. Eso es una cosa que extrañé mucho en mi “otra vida”. Pero siempre tengo la filosofía que todo paso en el momento justo y siempre aprendemos que tenemos que aprender al momento justo. Y estoy convencida que el tiempo que paso sola y las experiencias que tuvé en los últimos 5 años antes de venir acá me enseñaron a tener independencia y como a amar quien era como una persona. Sin embargo, cuando estas leciones terminaron, el Universo me envió nuevas leciones en la forma de uno nuevo capítulo en mi vida. Y ahora estoy aprendiendo sobre el otro lado del balance: creando comunidad.

Uno de mis objectivos en esta vida es de crear comunidades sustentables en diferentes lugares en el mundo. Comunidades basadas en compartir, viviendo en armonía con la tierra y a disfrutar mas de la vida. La idea es de crear y construir una nueva esquema para vivir, con menos cosas materiales y mas experiencias. Sin embargo, para hacer esto, uno tiene que vivirlo. Bueno, el Universo ha escuchado mi necesidad y me envió una nueva vida y role en Argentina. Y que lindo país para aprender!

Muchas personas consideran Argentina como un país del tercero mundo. Siempre escucho esto. Y de Argentinos también. Y quizás es, basado en estadísticas en los círculos económicos. Pero en mi opinión, no es así. Puede ser que la gente acá no tienen tantas cosas materiales como tienen en los Estados Unidos y Canadá, pero para mi son mucho mas ricos comparados con países del “primero mundo”. Argentinos saben expresarse, y se expresan con amor y amabilidad que hace muchos norte americanos incomodos. Tienen un genuino preocupación para los que tienen necesidad. Mismo si no tienen mucho, siempre están disponibles a compartir lo que tienen con los que entran en sus vidas. La gente acá saben disfrutar de la vida, disfrutar de las cosas mas simples en la vida como buen comida, bueno vino y compartiendolo con otros. Que paso en la mayoría de sociedades en los países del primero mundo donde esto aspecto importante esta casi non-existente? Cuando estuvé visitando Canadá este año, esto me impacto mucho. Recuerdo de estar sentada a fuera con una amiga, Jocelyne, haciendo una “venta de garage” y nosotros dos mirando al barrio vacío. Era uno hermoso día, pero no había nadie a fuera. Nunca vimos a nadie. La mayoría de la gente se quedan cerrados en sus casas, nunca saliendo, mucho menos a tener alguna interacción con los vecinos. Esto es obviamente una generalización, porque conozco gente que no son así, pero en general es muy común. Me hizo muy triste a ver tantas personas tan focalizados en sus vidas y olvidando de ver como la otra gente están viviendo. No estoy poniendo culpa en nadie specífco, porque yo vivía igual antes. Por muchos años yo andaba como un roboto, solamente existiendo y no viviendo. Y ahora, aca estaba en mi lugar de antes, y mirando la gente viviendo el mismo ciclo. Me siento muy afortunada de que me ha despertado y ha tenido la oportunidad de vivir en una cultura diferente que me ha enriquecido mi vida mucho mas que yo había pensado posible.

Comunidades son creadas sobre valores y principios que son compartidos por todos que viven ahí. Desde de vivir acá, estoy aprendiendo que son los mas importantes y necesarios para crear una comunidad armónico. Y mis lecciones continuan. Espero que mientras que estoy aprendiendo que puedo también compartir mi nueva información y experiencas con otros para inspirarles a vivir una vida llena. La vida debía de ser disfrutado y experimentado. Y parte de este experiencia es de aprender a compartir este hermoso mundo donde vivimos con otros.

Saludos!

Chrissie